God could've forgiven us all of our sins by one word. God could've just said, "Okay everyone your sins are forgiven, and I will keep my son, so you're happy and I'm happy." God didn't have to give his son to die for our sins. But God is just and righteous, there needed to be some payment for our sins. God wanted to show us all that he would suffer and die for us because he loves us that much. That instead of each one of us on that cross, God would take our place.

I have doubts about God. I have many questions about God. But, I still can't deny that there is no God. I want to know more about God's love, because I don't doubt that his love is amazing.

This counts as a thursday entry because I came home late from something I had to do for work today, anyways, its technically a friday but I'll post another one tomorrow.

So on Thursday, while driving to school, I was listening to a christian station on the radio. There was a pastor from Long Island giving a sermon. The pastor was talking about Faith and good works. It's not good works that will save us, but because we are saved we do good works. Faith without good works is a dead faith. It is our faith that compels us to do good works. Does our lives reflect our faith? A comical but good question the pastor brought up was, if you were to be charged for being a christian, would there be enough evidence to find you guilty? Also, the pastor brought up the point that believing in God won't save you, it is by Faith that we are saved. Even the demons believe in one God. This sermon from the pastor made me think about my life as a "christian." Am I really a "christian?" Is my life reflecting my faith? Also the pastor said something like this, if one has genuine faith then there will be a radical change in that persons life because of that faith. Is there any radical change in my life because of my faith? Is there enough evidence to charge me as a christian?

Prayer: God, we learn that Jesus your son took our place on the cross to die for our sins. He who was blameless suffered and was killed for our wrongdoings. We are constantly told these things as Christians, but honestly I do not feel it in my heart. God I do love you for the many things you have done in my life, and still do in my life, but I know I am missing something crucial if the cross does not stir up something in me. God help me to understand what your son did for us on the cross and feel it in my heart. I will do my part in study, God please lead me the right way.

It's been rainy these days. Not a big fan of the rain, but I guess its better than fire falling from the sky...School is coming to an end, and things are getting hectic with finals and end of semester work. Life has changed so much since I changed schools after my sophomore year of college. I constantly think about the future and what I will end up doing. Where is my life going? I just tell myself that I have to trust God, and just work hard at all that comes my way. Oh and I can't be lazy and expect God to just zap things that I want in front of me. Anyhow, this is just sleepy ramble...